It can be extremely difficult to get up the nerve to tell your parents about an unplanned pregnancy… especially if you’re still in high school or college. No matter how hard you try, there just isn’t an easy way to break the news.
Rest assured that you aren’t the only one feeling the fear right now. It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to tell your parents something that you know will disappoint them. You’ve probably had similar feelings when you had to let them know that you failed a class, got in a fight, lied to them, or did something else that was sure to make them upset.
And you got through it.
Your parents will probably feel upset that you got pregnant, but they will ultimately survive. It’s not the end of the world. They may not speak to you for a while, they may yell and scream, they may call you names and ask you how you could do such a thing… but it won’t last forever.
Many parents have a hard time expressing their feelings to their children, but most parents truly love their children and want the best for them. The anger, tears, insults, and other negative reactions are just your parents’ way of working through their emotions.
You know your parents better than we do, so you’re probably able to anticipate how they’ll react to the news of your unplanned pregnancy. If you feel that you may be in physical danger when you tell them, take someone you trust to be with you during the conversation. If the meeting gets too heated and you feel unsafe, leave immediately and find a safe place to stay until they cool off. You may even want to consider writing them a letter instead.
So, how do you tell your parents that you’re pregnant?
1. Make the decision to share it with your parents as soon as you find out about your pregnancy. They deserve to know and, if you wait too long, they’ll get suspicious anyway.
2. Get a plan in place for breaking the news. Decide when, where, and how you’ll tell them, and decide who should be present for the conversation. Make sure you choose a time when you’re parents are relaxed, happy, and free to talk for a while. Don’t blurt it out when they’re on the way to work or in front of an audience.
3. Solidify your position about your plans for this pregnancy. They may immediately tell you that you must have an abortion or that you have to give the baby up for adoption. Think about these things before they mention them so you’ll be prepared to stand up for yourself if you don’t agree. You’ll probably want to talk to an experienced pregnancy counselor for facts before your meeting.
4. Get to the point quickly when you approach your parents or when you write them a letter. Let them know that you love them, need them, and are sorry to have to bring them bad news. Then, just spill it. Tell them you’re pregnant, apologize, and inform them of your plan.
5. Wait for a reaction from your parents. They may have questions, they may give orders, they may demand that you get out of their face. Try to figure out how they feel about it before you continue talking.
You are dealing with a difficult situation right now and, although it may be hard at first, talking to your parents about your pregnancy is really the right thing to do. You don’t need the added stress of keeping such a huge secret from your family.
If you’re having a hard time and need more advice, just let us know. We care about you and we’re only a phone call away.